So, the past couples weeks have been drenching and stressing. I’ve also been feeling rather depressed and nothing gives me energy anymore. I can’t read a book anymore, or sleep, or watch series without my mind taking me to dark places. The only thing I want is sleep and even that I can’t get. I just feel like shit.
And I’ve been thinking about my life lately. I’m litterally the most boring person alive and it’s radiating off my skin. Nobody wants to hang out anymore and my best friends are my study books. So yeah,… Even my brother hates talking to me and it’s frustrating as heck.
But here’s what I want: I want to fall asleep in the trunk of a car, after driving to the beach and swimming for hours. I want to run through fiels and lace flowers through your hair and take your hand, just to feel like I’m alive. I want to sit with you on your roof top and talk about endlessness. I want to feel alive, for fucks sake, but I can’t even tell what’s a dream and what’s real. So I’ve been looking down at my hands a lot these days, pinching them, biting down on my fingernails. But it still feels like a nightmare and I’m afraid of falling asleep.
Wow, this sounds like such a sob story. Please don’t hate me.